Best Weekend Ever

This weekend, I had to think about cancer for a total of three minutes!

On Friday morning, the results from my thursday blood work had not yet been released to me.  Before going to the Walk-a-Thon at my school, I wanted to make sure I was free to make as many laps and get as many hugs as I felt up to.  I called my nurse to find out my results, she cleared me and told me to wear sunscreen.  That was the three minutes, calling, being on hold and talking to my nurse about blood counts.

After applying copious amounts of SPF 85 and filling my camelback hydration pack with water I drove over to my school.  I've been to school a few times since I started treatment, but I was so excited to go for this special event, my heart was pounding as I drove up the hill to campus.  In the office I got my official Walk-a-Thon shirt, and decorated it to reflect where I am in my chemo process.

Then I looked out the window to where the kids were enjoying the barbecue lunch, and saw one of my students from last year, Maddie.  She was my entrance point, I snuck up with a big hug and together we went to find Morgan, another of my kids from last year.  By the time we located Morgan, all of thirty feet away, I felt like the Pied Piper, kids were swarming me.  My heart was throughly melted.  For the next ten minutes I was layered in hugs and high-fives from the part of my life I have missed most for the past ten months.  Nothing can is more powerful than an unsolicited hug from a child who genuinely cares for you, nothing.

The rest of the day was time well spent.  I reconnected with students and coworkers.  Many kids asked questions about when I would return to school or when my hair would come back.  My favorites were kids who just told me about something they had recently accomplished in school or asked me where their friend was, assuming I would know, because my being on campus was just so normal to them.  A few coworkers gave positive feedback about this blog, and even told me I inspired them.  Truly, I feel like I am just doing my job, all teachers inspire, I'm just doing it through a different outlet this year.  The kids signed my shirt and poured cups of water on each other as a way to beat the heat as the walked.  There was even a sighting of our local NHL star/parent, I did not drool too much.  To quote my friend Susanna, it was a little miracle.

Saturday we went to a baby naming for our friends Marcy and Levent.  Along with family, friends, our Chavu-rad and Rabbi Adam welcomed baby Derin.  I was very happy to be able to attend this important right of passage for our friends.  It was also a joy to meet other babies born to our Chavu-rad recently.  As Rabbi Adam will be relocating to the east coast in July, this may be the last formal event we see him at.  Adam has been a big support for me as I have gone through treatment, he is also a connector for Marcy and I has he conducted both of our weddings.  With Adam leaving, attending these events with our Chavu-rad has a new importance to me.  I look forward to keeping up the connections he has helped us form.

We were not yet done with fun!  Sunday  we went to a barbecue with the Chavu-rad, and the young adult group from Beth-Am.  It was the holiday Lag B'Omer, the half way point between Passover and Sukkot.  Basically, it is a good excuse to have a bbq and enjoy nice weather.  When it was brought to our attention that the Chavu-rad and the young adult group had both planned on have a bbq, forces were combined.  It was nice to meet new people, get to know Rabbi John a little better and enjoy more time with friends.  I also learned that deviled eggs are a little like crack to some people.

Its been about a year since Shac and I have been able to attend any events with our Chavu-rad, and this weekend just happened to line up with multiple events and my health cooperating.  In this time, there are three new baby boys, and another baby on the way.  When Rabbi Adam first got this group together two years ago, we were ten couples, recently married with one baby on the way.  Each couple has one Jewish partner and one who isn't or has converted, so Shac and I fit right in.  Like in any group we have made stronger connections with some couples than others.  I look forward to growing with our Chavu-rad and getting to know all of these little families.

Chemo starts again on Monday, glad I got to have so much fun before I go back on the meds.

Spring

It's baseball season!

The weather shifts between rainstorms and heat.  My husbands allergies are in full force.  I have a desire to be outside, trimming overgrown plants and making space for summer parties.  Spring is most definitely here.

A while back, someone suggested I needed to take more pictures.  Honestly, I don't feel like having my picture taken.  They suggested that I might want to be able to look back at my strength through this process, show my future generations or other people who might fight this fight as well.  So here are some pictures.  I can't remember who they are, but I think they might have been right.  

With spring this year comes changes in my chemo regime.  I have reached a lifetime limit of one of my medications Doxorubicin.  Doxo is one of my chemo meds that is light sensitive and was given to me over 48 hours.  Most chemo med dosages are based on weight. With every medication, the more of it a patient receives the higher the possibility of side effects gets higher and higher.  Doxo effects your heart.  Going over this threshold would change my possibility deteriorating the muscles around my heart from a 30 to 50 percent chance and then up to 70 percent.  Thanks, I'll pass!  So now instead of getting Doxo for 48 hours, I get Dactinomycin.  Dactin only takes five minutes to infuse, but treats the same element of cancer, tumors.  They gave me the Doxo first, because it is the exact medication used in the study my treatment plan is based on.

Yes, that is three hospital bands in one day.

Typical daily pills.

Between rounds ten and eleven, I started seeing a councilor.  What I am going through is not easy, and I am not only physically but emotionally effected by my treatment and the changes my body is going through.  So now I have four kinds of doctors appointments each week; counciling, my oncologist, infusion center for fluids and infusion center for blood work.  It is a full time job.

Ernie's new favorite spot to sit.

Emotionally, I am feeling better.  Physically, I am more worn out.  We all know I have trouble sitting still, but now I have no choice.  With all the chemicals in my brain, I have trouble concentrating.  Recently, my sisters best friend Sara sent me a jigsaw puzzle.  This was an excellent choice, as it isn't physically demanding and I can focus on it as long as my brain allows.  It isn't a TV show I have to keep up with, so there are no spoilers or a book I have to remember the plot and twists of.  I hope that when I am done with chemo I get my mind back though.

Chelsea got me a sweet kidney keychain!

Somehow, I feel like I skipped from ten rounds left to six rounds left and don't remember the in between.  I'm not complaining.  The end is coming.  There are sure to be more bumps and bruises along the way, but we are still moving forward.
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Tomorrow is National Nurses Day!  Never before have I even imagined such a thing exists or planned so diligently to celebrate something that is now profoundly important to me.  Every day and night, these men and women care for not only myself and new born babies, but cranky smelly people who don't appreciate them.  Regularly they deal with bodily fluids and people who aren't feeling their best.  I wouldn't trade with them for the world but appreciate everything they do for me.  Like today, when I showed up three hours early for my appointment because my brain is so full of chemo I can't think straight, they just fit me in.  Or on Saturday when my silly 'please don't wake the princess' note made instagram before I woke up in the hospital.  These men and women chose to care for the rest of us.  The least we can do is treat them with respect. So thank a nurse tomorrow!