Ferris Bueller

Two important things have happened since my last post.

My sister got married!  and I got to go!  This is an unusual second in our lives.  My sister, being two years older, had all of the firsts in our lives, first car, first to college, first to try things out so I learned how to navigate them better (thanks).  Our weddings however, were in reverse order, mine to Shac being nearly two years ago.  My dad said my sisters was easier on him emotionally because of this.  It was the first first I had first. 

Their wedding reflected Lauren and Jason's personalities to a T and I am so happy I could share the day with them.  They had such a 'Southern California' wedding to me.  Steps from the beach, and 80 degrees in March.  The ceremony was outside on a patio, dinner being inside a 1930's casino once frequented by the likes of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland.  The flowers were beautiful and cupcakes moist and delicious.  This was the first time I got to see their local band 'The Creepers,' who I think Shac and I appreciated more than my grandparents, but maybe we just knew their music better.  So glad I was feeling up to having as much fun as I did.

If you look closely at this picture you can see my eyelashes and eyebrows!  I had a wonderful makeup artist at Aveda in the Mission Viejo mall.  She too a cancer survivor, made me feel pretty for the first time in months. I know it was my sisters day, but I was so excited to be pretty and share that her.  I didn't want to be the weird looking one sticking out at her wedding, pictures last forever.  I felt so much better looking normal.  It seems vain to me, but I think it is ok to want to look your best, it does amazing things for your self confidence.  Perhaps the fact I felt like I looked so good allowed me to physically feel better too.

The second thing that happened was chemo mountain!
I'm at the top.  Well, I am actually stepping down as the day we got back from the wedding I went into the hospital to complete round nine.  So here I sit between rounds nine and ten!  Round nine was pretty typical for my short round, three days of chemo,  two bags of blood, left the hospital feeling good with minimal side effects.

The week before the wedding I had all of my midway scans.  The ultrasound of my kidney came up as 'medically unremarkable' you may remember reading.  Next I had a PET scan, this shows how things move and group, specifically in your blood.  The PET scan showed changes in my bone marrow, expected due to how chemo is effecting my blood.  Long story short, my PET scan came back clear!  No accumulations of cancerous cells.  SEVEN MONTHS CANCER FREE.

Your blood is an interesting thing.  I'm only now learning about how your body makes blood, and it is fascinating.  My bone marrow isn't reproducing as quickly as it should, and is not producing hematocrit, a blood transporter, very fast either.  Chemo is supposed to effect my blood production, so this all sounds like bad news, but it means it is working.  It also explains why I've been so anemic and my body can't keep up with blood production.  Learning all of this actually took a lot of pressure off me.  For the past seven months I've been getting more and more anemic.  Here I sat thinking there was something I could do or eat to help my blood.  Nope.  It is so nice to know its not me!

For each post I try to come up with a clever title or theme.  This time it was hard, such diverse things going on!  Often I've said chemo waits for no man.  I don't want to use the blog as a place to complain about what I'm going through, just a place to inform.  Life has continued to move forward with or without cancer.  In November we had to replace a sewer pipe, February my grandfather passed away, in March my sister got married.  I still have at least five months of chemo, who knows what else the universe will throw at us in that time span.  So, in the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Metaphors

I'm in the weeds
It's ten pounds of stuff in a five pound bag
Let's get the quarterback off the field before he gets hurt
It's a full house!
I'm a quart low
Oh, so your in for a quick tune up?
When it rains it pours
Up a creek

These are all metaphors I've been living lately.

Up a creek
After round seven I got sick.  I had a cold for about a week, but when you are on chemo, a cold isn't a small thing.  I took antibiotics and was monitored very closely.  After I was done coughing, I developed some canker type sores in my throat making it very uncomfortable to swallow.  Canker sores are very common for chemo patients, since all of our mucus membranes are under attack.  There is this amazing mouthwash, developed at Stanford,  that takes away the pain while healing these sores.  It is called 'magic mouthwash' and it is!  Luckily, with the sores being in my throat gargling with this amazing stuff reached it and I could soon swallow comfortably.  

I'm in the weeds
Then we had round eight.  For some reason it was rough on me, really rough.  These medications have always been harsher than the short round, and with receiving them more days in a row my body was just worn out.  In the hospital lots of vomiting, constipation and weakness.  I received a transfusion shortly before discharge, and walked out of the hospital.  The following week the constipation lead to diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.  Coupled with an inability to eat dehydration got worse.  I spoke with my medical foundation nurse every day, went in for blood work and ultimately scheduled a meeting with a nephrologist because we were now concerned about my kidney.  

It's ten pounds of stuff in a five pound bag
I was nervous about this meeting.  Only having one kidney makes me anxious about anything having to do with hydration and I was afraid I now had another life long disease to deal with.  She ordered an ultrasound and I was surprised when they checked and captured images from both sides of my abdomen.  The results read, "Left kidney surgically absent, right kidney unremarkable."  There is nothing better than the term 'unremarkable' when used medically.  After speaking with the nephrologist, who is amazing by the way, I have learned that chemo has injured my kidney.  The filters inside my kidney are damaged because they are being made to filter toxic medications, and they need time to heal.  They are so full of stuff they need time to filter even just water.  She also recommended I change some of my chemo regime and remove some of the harshest medications, my oncologist and I will have to discuss this.  She wants to monitor my kidney more closely, weekly blood and urine tests to check levels. I will be taking a break from chemo, I do not know how long, but I am fine with a break given everything else going on. So, let's get the quarterback off the field before he gets hurt.

Yesterday, I went to have my midway PET scan.  YES we are almost exactly half way through chemo!  Before I started chemo I had a PET scan to see if there was any accumulation of cancer cells anywhere else, and to check my bone marrow.  Though I have gotten results back from this test, as I do not completely understand them, I'll let you know more after I talk with my doctor.

Oh, so your in for a quick tune up?
After my PET scan yesterday I started on my now weekly blood work.  While sitting on the couch later in the afternoon, I got a concerned call from my medical foundation nurse asking me to please get to the hospital as soon as possible to get a bag of platelets because I was low.  I figured I was about a quart low.  No problem, my dad hurried me down there with my iPad and a bottle of water for my two hour stay.  By the time I arrived, I had been admitted for the night.  My platelets were LOW, like so low that my nurse told me to sit down and she would unpack me.  There was nothing to unpack, I didn't know I was staying, Shac brought me a bag later with jammies and toothbrush.  So last night I had two bags of platelets, three bags of blood and eight potassium pills. My medical foundation nurse said I got a full house of blood products, with the 2 bags of platelets and 3 of blood.  I'm still putting together what all of this means, but I feel pretty good for the first time since December.  

When it rains it pours
Whew!  That is a lot going on!  But wait, there's more.
Next Sunday my sister is getting married.  I am so excited to get to participate, and hope I continue to feel good.  Two weekends ago, I missed her bachelorette party which of course was in Disneyland.  Here is the picture of me in my Bachelorette party swank, notice I have a slurpee, not a drink from the tiki bar like she did.  Cheers to moving forward healthily.